PARTE XVI - Amarillo

Heart-me furious. Shutmecontrol.

jueves, 7 de mayo de 2009

19:19

I´m sorry... I don´t wanna hate you... but you give me no other choice...
You saved me, but you will kill me... I have to go...
away... for a long time... I promised you I´d always be here... but I can´t return if you don´t...
no matter how much i hate what you are... I will always love what you were... that you, inside of you. The one you don´t wanna take out... is my you.
I miss you so much... every single day... every moment... but i can´t wait forever... it has to be this way... the way you created...
My dots are still there... and I don´t know if I will ever fill them... but the Sun inside of me thought I would. And maybe, I hope... I was right...
Why does it have to be like this?
Why must this happen?
I don´t really know... life is complicated, you are complicated, I am complicated...


What he had for you, was something beyond lust and beyond me...
I´ve never seen him care so much for anyone else. You were his world.
I´m sorry I have to make him loath you. But you let me no alternative.
If the time comes... I will erase it, the hate, all of it... But as things are now, as you are now, that won´t happen soon.
You understood something we would never agree with. I am so sure you are wrong, as he is insecure about it.
You have been his blessing and his curse, you have made him understand everything and made him insane.
He has no regrets.
You are causing this, all of it. And if you think it is because you left him, you are so wrong as I expect you to be.
It is not because you abandoned him. He always knew that you would.
It is not because of who do you belong to now. He always knew it would be that way.
It is because of you, and who you have become. Because of your ignorance, and because of your oblivion.
And mostly, because you chose to be oblivious.
As the song goes... he doesn´t blame you for being how you are, but you can´t blame him for hating it.

This post... is my goodbye...
My way of telling you, thank you. Thank you for all you´ve done.
I will always be there for you. But for you. Not for what you have become.
I never wanted things to go this way... you know that... but this is the only path...
I can imagine you thinking about how immature I am. Or that you are sick of me. But if it is like that. Then you have forgotten. Or you never understood...
If you ever call, I will listen, but if you want me back in your life, as you said it was so necessary... then you will have to come back too.
Te amo, como siempre.

Ezequiel.





















"Our paths will cross again... when you wake up from your dream..."

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